SHIT! We just saved the Earth!!! You're not going to believe this…

There we were, just a squad of sexy musical beauties out on the road touring and our band was called Top Heavy. Rudy, our not-so-sexy manager, was leading the way - what a fuck up.

Hopelessly lost, our vehicle broken down, we girls and Rudy found ourselves trekking through the hot and endless desert. Withering under not-so-subtle psycho-scientific mind control attacks, we were wondering if it was just the heat getting to our brains. Little did we know, we had fallen into the manipulative, metaphysical and downright weird web of an evil sex-crazed alien bitch -- Queen Sartanika - and she was softening us up for total control.

When Queen Sartanika thought we were primed and ready, she beamed us aboard her starship where we finally discovered what was going on. Queen Sartanika, and her hot first mate Silk, were targeting Planet Earth looking for the Sexual Nexus - apparently the Sexual Nexus is the one human on Earth whose sexual voltage connects with every other inhabitant on the Planet. She had decided one of us was IT and planned to suck all the sexual voltage from humans through the Sexual Nexus, leaving Planet Earth. . . limp, and us dead.

And she was airing this cockamamie plan LIVE from the bridge of her starship to billions of eyeballs in seven galaxies. Can you believe that shit? The only people not watching were you guys, the Earthlings - she was doing a 'Karl Rove' on the whole planet - you couldn't even get the signal 'cause she wasn't sending it to Earth.

Against all odds, we pulled ourselves together, using our wits (and our tits) to strike back at Queen Sartanika and her evil plan. Well, when it was all over, we were transformed - and became the Baberellas. Thank God for Hollywood - they shot our story and now you can see what happened to us for yourself.

Pray that Queen Sartanika does not return. You think Al-Quida is bad…

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